Its funny how when you have a lot of time on your hands you tend to think about your life. Compare and contrast goes on a ton and while I try to make light of it, I can’t argue away a dozen bug bites, doors slammed (literally) in my face and gripping my car wheel as I try to “drive” it in neutral so my boss can jump my car. To be honest I never realized that living on my own would be so challenging. From paying rent and gas, stressing over money and my Mac that crashes every other minute, to freaking out and making last minute swerves on the highway, I am definitely learning a lot. But the biggest lesson has been that these trials God has allowed in my life make me desperate for Him. As I sit for countless hours in front of a computer screen, applying to jobs that I don’t hear back from, as I network and knock doors for this campaign, I find how little strength I have on my own. God gives me strength for every step. Each hour he gives me life is my opportunity to be his girl and live a life for Him. And when I mess up He is still there drawing me back to Him. What I find most baffling is His mercy and grace towards me even after my rudeness, even when I get too distracted and too caught up in this world. This season hasn’t been perfect but I’m so thankful it hasn’t been. I’m so thankful for the awkward small talk and for finding who my friends truly are when I’m not successful or popular. It’s a humbling experience but maybe that is exactly where God wants me, where He wants his kids. It’s so tough and such a long journey but tonight I know I am in the arms of the One who knows me and loves me and has died for me so I can live with Him forever. I hope you think a little of Him tonight and when you do, be overwhelmed that His mercy and grace have led you to a hard time of your life. Maybe it’s not supposed to be a place where you mope and eat Ben and Jerrys. Maybe it’s a place of growing- a humbling place of learning and drawing closer to the one who loves us all and calls us by name.